Welcome back to Change of Plans - Part 2.
So by now, you may have noticed I'm an advocate for telling God exactly how you feel. Angry, hurt, confused - honesty with God and yourself is crucial to moving forward. But what if you are in the middle of prolonged uncertainty?
Let me be honest with you.
I wrote Change of Plans - Part 1 after the shock wore off. Often, I shared what I know, not what I am experiencing. For a while, I was frozen, waiting to see life play out and deep diving into crisis management at work. All the while, pushing 2020 brides to the back of my mind because I didn't have any answers. I can't imagine the crushing blow to cancel (or re-plan) my dream wedding. What could I do when I don't have any answers, even for myself?
Then, one shut-in weekend, my world shook.
News that the County decided to expand the road in front of our house to 5 lanes became real. Suddenly, our plans for home renovations became expedited. Plans and dreams for our little home flew out the window.
I was angry at first. I said bad words and cried a lot.
My awesome husband went straight into researching our options, contacting a lawyer, talking with our real estate agent, and reviewing our finances. We discussed new options, Set n new goals, and agreed to search for our next home.
That night, I felt hurt. Crawling into bed, I thought about reading my women's devotional or opening the Bible app on my phone. Instead, I selected a puzzle game, giving my brain space to process and reset.
Sighing, I reflected on all my recently changed plans: April & Stacy's big 30th birthday, Anna's doctoral graduation, my Papa's surprise 80th birthday party, and now, selling our home. Sadness, disappointment, anger, and a smidge of betrayal lingered in my heart.
“Courage does not always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I'll try again tomorrow.” Mary Anne Radmacher
Then God spoke to me. In the darkness of our bedroom, He revealed that the pain I was experiencing is just a taste of what 2020 brides have endured during the pandemic. Sisters, I grieved for our lost dreams. From crushed routines and plans - to saying goodbye to loved ones, we are all grieving something.
That night, I allowed myself to lean into the sorrow with God's promise of joy for the morning. Between sniffles, I told God that I would dwell on His provision and blessings in the morning because tonight, I needed to grieve.
What is God showing you?
This season is about realigning my will to God's perfect plan. Letting go of what is good to make room for God's better. Also, I'm learning that I don't have to have all the answers because I know the One who does. What's more important is that I share openly so I can walk beside others and allow them to walk beside me. Moving forward is facing reality myself, honesty with God, and sharing openly with others.
Breathe. We will get through this together.
Here's the beautiful truth I'm clinging too, despite ongoing uncertainty.
God is sovereign and GOOD.
It's not what I planned, but if I seek God, I can be a part of His better, redemptive, important plan.
I am not in control, (that is a false comfort), but I know the One who is!
This is not my home. Heaven is my real home.
Grab your notebook and write down anything that comes to your mind. Redirection is hard to swallow but often God uses it to bring something better. Write out the truths you know in the most simple words so you can remember and repeat it for yourself.
Whatever your perspective on the pandemic is, I think there is a significant lesson from God for each of us. If you want to share, I invite you to join our Rebel Bride Academy, a private Facebook group, to connect with other brides, share challenges, ideas, and receive encouragement from me! Brides, I invite you to discover a better way to plan your wedding - The Rebel Bride way.
Discover purposeful planning and peace that transcends your wedding planning woes.
Let's build a united community of support for brides and their squads. Let's uplift one another, honor God with our choices, and seek His perfect peace in the engagement season.
Praying for you, my Sister.
- Michelle
