This month, I reached out to my dear friend, blogger, author of God and the GOAL Digger, (and my boss #goals) - Adria, to share about her self love journey. Rebels, she is the REAL DEAL! I admire her strength in vulnerability, perseverance in overcoming trials, and genuine kindness. She inspires me to celebrate what makes me unique and continually challenges me to be the woman God designed me to be. Seriously, I love this gal to pieces! It is my honor to spotlight such a positive influencer, my dear friend, Adria Bee: Author of God and the GOAL Digger; (IG: @godandthegoaldiggers)
It stops here.
“I’m not good enough.” It stops here. “I’m not smart enough.” It stops here. “You need a man to…” It stops here. “You women are crazy!” It stops here. “You’re lucky you’re pretty..” It stops here! “You can’t…”
It stops ALL THE WAY here.
First off, an absolute “YAASSS” to my ladies makeup/nomakeup, heels/sweats, outside job or working from home, taking initiative and killin’ the game out there!!!
***Two claps for my ladies***
For a long time, the once ‘world of man’ has related the success of women to outward appearance. Often the first comment you hear about a woman is “She’s gorgeous!”. And while your girl here (me) always loves a satisfying beauty compliment (especially on those feeling not-so-hot days), we often neglect to work on building a beauty that lasts forever, no matter the circumstance.
Enter Confidence.
How often do we second guess our brilliance?!? No matter how hard we try, we usually end up looking over our shoulder for the approval to be great. Not Anymore. Here are just a few hard but worthwhile lessons I’ve learned on my journey to Bosshood:
1. You are the person you’ve been waiting for
We often get this yearning for someone else to step in and tell us how we are going to set ourselves up for life. Unfortunately this doesn’t happen to everyone - and we end up looking at ourselves in the mirror, wondering what to do.
Did I Say unfortunately?? Pardon me - that must’ve been typed by someone I used to know. There is nothing unfortunate about having the privilege of figuring what you want out in life! There is something exciting about exploring the possibilities about what you can do! And this goes for any age. I thought by now (post-education) I would have a closer inkling to where my niche is. I am here today to tell you proudly (maybe slightly sheepishly) that I still am looking for where I’m supposed to be and what I am supposed to do.
Instead of thinking about all the things you may not have gotten to yet, think about the new and amazing opportunities that you can create for yourself! After those long, not-so-promising days of work, revisit your goals and see what you can do more each day to get yours.
2. Receiving help elevates you
It’s easy to withdraw from the world and to hideaway/work on your ideas alone. But the truth is, even apparent sole ventures consist of a team helping you along the way. You always hear that you are who your friends are and that surroundings make up your identity. Similarly, there is often a crew (whether personal or public figure) who help guide you on the road of success. Whether it’s someone up close or gathering wisdom from media/outside influences, we become more whole and well-rounded when our lives reflect the lessons we’ve learned through and from the acts and words of others.
Rather than looking at receiving help as a weakness, seek it as a privilege. Life is a whirlwind of stories and bits of pieces coming together to make up this adventure we call life. Let others be even just a small part of your journey. You’ll find that your story will become enriched and new opportunities will start knocking.
3. Oprah Winfrey was Oprah Winfrey before becoming Oprah
You read it right. Oprah Winfrey was always Oprah Winfrey. The media (for all the good and the bad) tends to glorify persons who’ve made it to the spotlight, giving us the impression that there is some glorious algorithm for us to each the same ‘greatness’. And we as a society have bought into it.
What the media neglects to mention is that there are some Oprah Winfrey’s in our lives already.
Let’s not get twisted, I chose the name Oprah Winfrey because she is on the top of my celebrity admirers list (along with Ellen DeGeneres, the late and great Maya Angelou, Gal Gadot, Janelle Monae, Yvonne Orji, Yara shahidi, etc), yet there are also probably a few people in your life whose advice impacts you as heavily or more so than Oprah Winfrey.
Point: Oprah Winfrey was always Oprah Winfrey.
The only difference between the people that impact your life and Oprah Winfrey is that more people took visible notice of her.
Do NOT let outside influences affect your value. Be the Oprah Winfrey of your own life. There was never a specific time in Oprah’s life where she finally ‘became’ Oprah because she was always and will always be. In short, my Love, you have all that you need for greatness already instilled inside you. You just have to believe it, embrace it, then act on it.
4. She is not your competition
I repeat. He/She is not your competition. In today’s world everything seems like a competition. The number of start-ups are increasing, the urge for more followers on our media is intriguing and to kick out other potential competitors can be appealing.
Yet there is a difference from representing your best self and your brand as your best self than in constant competition with those around us. To overuse the cliché again, there is always room at the top.
Instead of us immediately jumping into “competition mode,” let’s look for a way that can potentially benefit both you and the other business/person. In a business setting, collaboration often reaps more reward than competition, each time. One of the reasons is due to the power of duel forces.
Collaborating can open countless doors for your network and business. Keeping a positive and communicatively-open relationship provides potential opportunities that you wouldn’t have had otherwise. If you still have competition, instead of viewing it as a fight, think of it as ironing sharpening iron – encouraging each other to be the best possible.
5. You CAN do it
I always wanted to go into business with my closest friends. I think my friends are some of the most driven, innovative and go-getting people. Of course I would want to go into business with them! But that wasn’t what was in store for me (at least not at the moment). In fact, situations isolated me from my friends for a time and instead brought in family – something I didn’t think could work out so well!
Loves, I cannot say this enough – trials bring blessings. I grew up having lots of friends, but it was at a time where I felt the most alone (friendship-wise) that I was able to expand my entrepreneurial thinking. I pulled up my (stretchy) jeans and got to learning and working.
I began writing for people from company summaries to social media consulting. I picked up and started working on photography. I refused to allow not hearing about jobs from employers, or not being asked to partner up with friends and their businesses to hinder my personal growth.
If the only thing you were waiting on was for someone to tell you that you can do it:
My fellow Boss Beauty, hear from me now and the thousands of people you don’t even know yet - You are a wonderful masterpiece! Your worth is phenomenal and your talent – unimaginable. You most definitely are capable for whatever venture you set!
You just have to take the first step.
What are you waiting for?
**Excerpts of the Boss Beauty Self-Talk aspire from Adria’s new devotional: God and the GOAL Digger: A 40-day Detox-Devotional for the “Boss” in every woman.
Bonus Content!
Body Love Journey
I always struggled with weight issues. From the chubby girl in high school to the shapely girl you see today: gaining weight was often on my radar. I don’t remember a time where I wasn’t working on lowering my weight. It wasn’t until a doctor visit last summer that I finally figured out (or at least a part of) why. 3 summers ago I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS), where one of the most common symptoms is constant weight gain. The doctor even told me that I couldn’t possibly lose the weight needed to keep the PCOS effects at bay. Well, luckily for her, she didn’t know who she was talking to.
From them on I was especially motivated to beat the weight gain battle. I was more intentional with my diet and weight training and kept my goal in sight. Here I am currently 26 pounds less and counting!!!
However, no matter what size I get, I know that my mentality doesn’t automatically shift with physical results. It takes a daily intentional effort to grow that inner beauty confidence and self-love. While I still have my ‘feeling fat’ days, each day I grow stronger in mind and in heart than before. We are so beautiful. How dare we defy ourselves with lies once told by the media or from others? As of now, I focus more on what body I’d like to have, loving myself fully along the way.
Guest Writer Bio: Adria McCardy
Adria McCardy,MA (@itsadriabee,@godandthegoaldiggers), is the Co-founder, Co-Writer and Creative Director of Children’s Books and Publishing Productions, Brooke & Lee (IG: @brookeandlee). She is also the Author of God and the GOAL Digger, found on Amazon.com. She has extensive love for people, her family, faith, friends and her home country, The Bahamas. Along with her venture, clients also know her as their photographer, branding coach, director, writer and/or social media manager. With an entrepreneurial mindset and a jack of all trades pursuit, her goal is to inspire love and positivity to everyone she encounters. One of her most current, personal mottoes is that "when you watch God instead of people, your life changes for the better," but her all-time favorite quote comes from Maya Angelou: "... people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."
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